Graduating

I have learned much but unlearned more. I first heard of Moody when I was visiting Wheaton and I was attracted to the risk of trusting God with something as important as my education. It was not something I could make money doing. It scared me but excited me and it was this risk that first drew me out of my sunny comfort zone in Orange County. There are two quotes from students that constantly come to mind when I think of my experience at Moody. One was from a freshmen that I spoke to when I was visiting Moody for the first time. She told me,

"It is like a spiritual microwave".

Somehow in my 18 year old brain this was attractive to me, now it makes me want to puke. The second was from a senior about midway through my time at Moody who told me,

"You either come out of here brainwashed or cynical".

I believe many young people are attracted to the idea of forced spirituality, as if we can control our spiritual formation and learn how our faith is a perfect world view with out any holes. The depression that can happen when this fails is incredibly damaging. I have seen it happen to friends. I believe God hardly ever acts the way we want Him to or expect Him to. His plans for us take longer and are more painful than we would ever want for ourselves. They are also more perfect than anything we would ever want for ourselves.

Somebody asked me if I still love Jesus after bible school and by God's grace I can say yes. I believe in a God who has worked and is working to bring people into a perfect relationship with Himself.

Some people within the institution still work to propagate the freshman idea that we can control our spiritual growth and that we can learn the certainty of our faith without questioning anything. I thank God for the professors who kept me sane by letting students ask difficult questions, who did not feel like they had to give a perfect answer, who taught me to think well, be comfortable with some ambiguity and keep the gospel central.