My wise father warned me of the god of false security. Being home in California I fell deeper in love with my dear friends and family, I do not deserve the rich community God graciously gave to me growing up. Somehow, I expected that to always be same, just with pauses. But every conversation with my loved ones somehow came back to the constant, grave subject of change. I am on a unique journey with God, that is permanently changing my relationship with my friends and family at home whether I like it or not. They, on the other hand, are on their own journey and their relationship with me is changing. Our love is deepening in someways, but we could not avoid the fact that things are changing. The experience we had growing up simply does not exist the same way anymore.
There were some dear friends and family I was not able to see, especially cousins on both sides of my family. At first I was shocked. "But this is the way it has always been!" Then I realized, we are growing up, things are changing and they will never be the same. It is not all bad. Just different. I realized how difficult it is for me to trust God with change, especially change in something so fundamental as my home.
It pains me deeply that we can not experience life in the same way together. Sometimes, as difficult as it is, our journey with God leads us farther from people than we would like. I love you all, and I savored every moment being with you.
Merry Christmas and happy new year, Kori! Looks like you had a great time with your family, as did I. This all spoke to me, especially this line, "It pains me deeply that we can not experience life in the same way together. "
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I fully agree. Every time I see and talk to old friends, ones I've had basically all my life especially, it is SO good, but a little different each time. We all are changing, and that is a positive thing, but sometimes I wish for things to feel just like they used to. The reality is they never will, but I have hope for a future that is even better than the past. I think you have that hope, too. The Lord is so good.
p.s. Miss you!
You encouraged me so much! thank you my dear. Blog more! I love reading what you write. God IS so good, maybe I will see you in detroit again some day. I would love that.
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